“Holding a resentment is like me taking poison and waiting for you to die”
Until we learn to forgive, we are only hurting ourselves. It doesn’t mean we have to forgive and forget, that could prove to be foolish, but we can forgive with wisdom, and be grateful for the lessons learned.
Maybe it was the gift of being fired from a job that did not fulfill our purpose, or breaking up a broken relationship. Although it seemed painful at the time, hopefully we learned more about ourselves. If not, the lesson will keep showing up until we do. Several years ago, I went through a divorce that took me to the lowest point of my life. I had no choice but to learn, change, and forgive if I ever wanted to be radiant again.
What’s over is over, but if a similar situation arises, we can draw upon our experiences to make better decisions the next time. It may mean setting a boundary or not engaging with dysfunctional people from a healthy, loving place, rather than from anger.
Forgiveness is ours.
It doesn’t matter whether the person we are forgiving knows it. And it certainly doesn’t matter if we are forgiven by others, we have absolutely no control over that. Even if we decide to verbally forgive someone, or ask for their forgiveness, and they do not respond in the way we wanted them to, it’s okay, forgive them for that too.
Sometimes the person who most needs forgiving is ourselves. In the past, I have actually held grudges against myself for decades. I not only consciously beat myself up, I subconsciously undermined my efforts to be happy. I don’t know if you can relate to easily being able to give, but having a hard time receiving and feeling like you don’t deserve. I did. It was time to let myself off of the hook and just forgive myself already. How about you?
Ho o pono pono
The beautiful practice of Ho o pono pono uses healing ourselves to heal others. We heal our connection with everyone and everything.
You simply say these four phrases:
Please forgive me
I love you
Start by saying it to yourself, then move on to others, it doesn’t even have to be to anyone specific, just say these words over and over from your heart. You will begin to feel the change in your mind, and benefit from the wisdom and connection that you have gained… and your life will just keep getting better.
We are totally responsible for what we say and do, AND responsible for all that we are a part of. If we hold resentment, hate, and painful thoughts we are responsible for creating more of that in the world.
Finger pointing and blame are easy, and even acceptable in today’s society, but forgiveness with wisdom is vital to our happiness. It turns out that loving yourself is the best way to create a more radiant world.